The secret life of wild pigs (as described by one of my assistants)

The really big and old ones, with mighty fangs, heavy body and ancient wisdom, lead their broad groups through the forest, look out while they feed, protect them from predators. When they reach a good mud puddle, they delicately leave on a branch the thick golden chain that they carry on one of their fangs. If you manage to steal it, causing furious anger, you are guaranteed protection from any harm. Meaning that if someone shoots you at point blank, you don’t die. A bomb? Nothing. You can find these “rantai” in some Chinese markets, but they are understandably very expensive. A man recently made the news for having spent 6 billion rupiahs (about 600,000$) on a fake one. Not sure of how he figured out it was fake.

Imagine me, watching the backs of this fleeing group of pigs, siamangs feeding above us, in the middle of the mud, in the middle of the forest, trying to reconstruct this explanation. Making large use of the dictionary, and increasingly extreme examples to make sure I understood it right, while looking at the dead serious face of my young and intense assistant.